Become Who You Are
What’s the meaning and purpose of my life? What is my true identity? Why were we created male and female? How do I find happiness, joy and peace? How do I find love that lasts, forever? These are the timeless questions of the human heart. Join Jack Rigert and his guests for lively insights, reading the signs of our times through the lens of Catholic Teaching and the insights of Saint John Paul ll to guide us.
Saint Catherine of Siena said "Become who you are and you would set the world on fire".
Become Who You Are
#646 Bobby Fredericksen's Life Changed! How To Live intentionally and Create A Family Mission Statement
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A profound midnight Mass experience transformed Bobby Fredericksen from a corporate party-goer to a purpose-driven Catholic father and podcaster. His conversion story reveals how encountering Christ's peace in the Eucharist altered the trajectory of his life.
"When you're in this desert, it's pretty lonely," he shares, describing how he gradually built Catholic friendships through men's groups, podcasts, and parish activities. His approach to "normalizing Catholicism" resonates particularly with men seeking authentic faith without becoming "weird" or disconnected from their identity.
Whether you're a convert seeking community, a parent wanting to strengthen your family's Catholic identity, or someone looking to integrate faith more seamlessly into daily life, Bobby's practical wisdom offers actionable insights for living "purposely Catholic" in today's world. Explore his podcasts—The Catholic Couple and Purposely Catholic—for more inspiration on normalizing and celebrating authentic Catholic living.
Read his article: Creating a Catholic Family Mission Statement: A Guide to Unity, Purpose, and Faith
Jacks Latest Blog Young Men United in the Eucharist: Heroically Rebuilding the Three Necessary Societies
Follow us and watch on X: John Paul II Renewal @JP2Renewal
It's hard to explain to people on the outside, you know, but it was that encounter that I felt like I was won over, like I knew I was his and he gave me so many graces from the very beginning, like the Eucharist, like I knew that I knew that was Jesus.
Speaker 2:Oh, I just got goosebumps man. I played Catholic football for one year.
Speaker 1:played Catholic football for one year.
Speaker 2:And, like St Lucia, fatima, you know, the last visionary, really the main visionary of Fatima, meaning she's the one that lived to an older age, you know she only died in 2005, same year John Paul did, and she wrote a letter to Cardinal Kofara and John Paul and she said the last great battle that we're in right now, in essence, is going to be over marriage and the family, and we're seeing that. So let's talk about what you got going there, because it's so important for us to nurture these. We're leaving these kids, aren't we in a vacuum, bobby? In just so many ways right now. It really bothers my heart.
Speaker 1:We didn't want to leave it to chance of that. Our kids are going to get not only a great education but, which the most important thing, was getting our kids to heaven and having that. You know that, that core of having Jesus at the center of school, exodus. And what happens? You know, god frees the Israelites and they go into the desert and right away. What do they want? They want to go back to slavery because that's what they're used to. And as a convert, I left the slavery of sin and all these bad habits, but I hadn't yet cultivated the promised land, the friends, the people to help.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Become who you Are podcast, a production of the John Paul II Renewal Center. I'm Jack Riggert, your host. You know, in our turbulent times and our culture, it's easy to forget that marriage and family lives. This is actually our mission on earth, especially as men. As such, Catholic YouTuber and podcaster Bobby Fredrickson shares his lived advice on how to purposely keep your mission of faith at the forefront of your family and on your mind, Bobby, welcome.
Speaker 1:Thanks for having me Appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to dig in a little bit to your bio because I find it interesting, so I'm sure our audience will too. You're a convert to Catholicism, experienced a miraculous conversion over 15 years ago after attending Midnight mass, an encounter that forever changed your life. Bobby co-hosts the Catholic Couple podcast and the Purposely Catholic podcast. Bobby is happily married for 15 years and a father to two great kids. He also leads a men's group, a Bible study, a connect group. His mission is to inspire others through his down-to-earth approach to Catholic living and normalizing Catholicism. That's a lot to do, brother. Right before we came on, you were talking about a book you're reading to try to slow down man, In a way you have to right.
Speaker 2:We have to get into silence, we have to get into some time to take a little break and allow ourselves to be filled up. On the other hand, as I get older, Bobby, I feel this urgency. Man, you know, we see what's going on in the culture, huh? So tell us a little bit about how you see the culture. Maybe you could touch on that conversion story at some point. You know, maybe right off the bat wouldn't hurt. And then we want to dig into why creating a family mission is more important than ever in today's fast-paced culture.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, thanks for having me. That's a great introduction. Appreciate it. Yeah, it's funny that we just had the gospel from this last Sunday, which was this juxtaposition between Martha and Mary, that it's an either-or but it's a both, and it's just that we are called to be like Mary but still have to do the Martha stuff. We have to first, though, sit at the feet of Jesus, so that we know how to prioritize our time and how to put that into place.
Speaker 1:So Katie and I just did an episode all about that, because, as Americans, as we get older, we start to feel that urgency. Well, we only got so much time we got to get all this stuff done. But, rushing through our daily lives, we miss those opportunities when people want to interrupt us, like our kids or somebody who needs help or somebody who just wants to talk to you, and we're like, well, no, I have to go on to this next thing. So, for me, this whole conversion thing really changed my perspective on what that looks like. I was all you know. I was working in corporate America, working seven to seven, Monday to Friday. Like didn't get to even eat lunch at my desk. I was just running, running, running, running until I eventually like just conked out really living a life of sin and alcohol and all the things that go with the you know that white collar culture. And I was dating my now wife, who's actually it's gonna be 15 years Wednesday. We'll be married 15 years.
Speaker 2:Congratulations, man yeah thank you.
Speaker 1:So we started dating and there was something about her that was different than all the girls I've dated up to that time and I didn't know exactly what it was. It turns out she was Catholic. She was going to mass. She wasn't really taking her faith that serious, but she still made mass a priority. And she just invited me to midnight mass and I was kind of like, well, I'm not really interested in that. But then she goes. Well, we usually go out, have a drink afterwards. I'm like okay. So you know, she kind of hooked me a little bit there and I walked into.
Speaker 1:Her parish at the time was where we're from, calumet City, st Andrew the Apostle. It was just a beautiful old style cathedral church and it was midnight mass. The lights were down, the choir was singing. So beautiful, everything was decorated so beautiful. So it was like the beauty. When I first walked in I was like whoa, I've never seen a church like that. So the beauty really helped, I think the conversion experience. And at that point in my life I had lost my job, lost my house, I had lost my hair, like I was going through a stressful time. I don't know why my wife was even interested in me when we were dating.
Speaker 1:She saw something in me I didn't see in myself, and she invited me, I accepted and I just remember being at that mass and I said you know, lord, if you're real, let me know, I'm open, I'm open to it, I'm you know, I made all these problems on my own. I can't fix them. I've tried. It's not working. I'm at the bottom. If you're real, show me.
Speaker 2:And how old are you, bobby? At this point I'm well, I'm 45 now. That was like 17 years ago, yeah. So you know, early 30s, yeah, I lived a wild 20s, 20, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I was living wild. I was a fraternity guy, I just kept it going. I kept the party going after college and didn't stop bartended, bounced, and then I started working corporate America, but I just never slowed down as far as the partying and, like I said, it all came crumbling down. I went to mass and I literally I did. At the time I didn't know what the Holy spirit was and I just remember feeling the sense of peace, the sense of love. That was something that I never experienced. I mean, I come from a good home and things like that, but it wasn't like this. I felt this peace in my soul and when I walked out of there I just turned to my girlfriend at the time, now my wife and I said I think I want to come every Sunday. I'm like I didn't know what this was and she was like what and I haven't missed since. So I've been going.
Speaker 1:I went to the RCA program and then, through a great teacher in RCIA, I had somebody who was very knowledgeable and we had a smaller class and he took interest in me and then he gave me a couple of CDs of father Carapi and he kind of spoke to me as being somebody who was wayward, so I. So after that I just started gobbling up everything as far as Catholicism reading podcasts, youtubes, and then got involved with our pastor and started getting us, asking us to get involved, and then he sent us sent me and a couple other guys to lay leadership at Mundelein to go through the program and St Xavier's, and then I went through that and then just everything after that just kept going. The more I got to know Jesus, the more I wanted to get to know him more and I wanted to share it with other people. Once I heard what a disciple actually was, I'm like I want to be one of those. You know I've been working ever since.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's a beautiful story, man. You know, I was writing this morning, bobby, and in it I referenced Matthew 7, and it's verse 13, 14, 15, and Jesus talks about most people are on this broad, you know. They go through the broad gate, they're on this broad road. Really, that leads to destruction, to nowhere, and how many of us could tell that story man. And then he invites us to the narrow gate and you go. You know what is that? Well, you experienced that.
Speaker 2:And the important thing is, and I think especially, we have a lot of young people. So, bob, I'll just give you a little background on this. Right, see the sword behind me. That's a big Claymore sword. So we have an apostle for young men especially, called Claymore, Miletus Christi, soldiers for Christ, and that's the big sword that William Wallace and Braveheart made popular, you know, and it's fighting that battlefield of the heart, right? So then you go through this narrow gate and they encounter this. What you're explaining is an encounter, man, you know, like the world gives you peace. It's like the absence of, maybe, war. That's peace to us, you know, but the peace you're describing is the peace only Christ can give us.
Speaker 1:It's. It's hard to explain to people on the outside you know, but it's. It was that encounter that I felt like I was won over, like I knew I was his and he gave me so many graces from the very beginning, like the Eucharist, like I. I knew that, I knew that was Jesus.
Speaker 1:Ooh, I just got goosebumps, man, yeah, I played Catholic football for one year and like they're like you got to go to CCD class. I went to one class and then I never showed up again, but I was still able to play football. So I was just trying to play football. But I went to one mass and I didn't know what was going on and I went up and received the Eucharist. So I had no idea what it was. No one told me, I just follow everyone, no one was really paying attention. So I'm like okay, so then fast forward after I actually was getting ready to be accepted into the church and receive my first communion and, uh, but my first confession.
Speaker 1:Of all the bad things I did, which were many, the one thing that really bothered me was that, because I knew that that was Jesus from the very beginning and I knew that I received that unworthily and I just didn't take it serious and that really bothered me and I that was just a grace that God gave me from the very beginning, that I knew that was his body, blood, soul and divinity and, um, it's been, you know, essential to this continual conversion that I have so much. So where you know, now the last five years I've been going to daily mass that like I feel when I'm not receiving, like I'm open to temptation, I'm open to like I need more Jesus in my life. I had such a bad past for so long. It's like one Sunday a month, a week wasn't enough. You know, it's like it started first, just like on Wednesdays in the middle of the week to kind of help me out. But the more I stay tied to him in the Eucharist, the better off I do as far as living out the faith.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you know you're explaining so much there and I just want to pause for a couple because we've got a lot of young guys especially joining us, right. So this podcast will go out to everybody, but we have this apostle. It's very inspiring when you see these young guys, they're looking for something more. They don't know what it is and you're describing what that is. You know, over my shoulder I don't know if you could see it, but it's the image of divine mercy and you know you see the blood and the water coming out of Christ. And I did the same thing you did. When I came back into the church, I went to receive the Eucharist. Well, I forgot about the white part. You know, that's that nuptial bath, brother. You got to go to a confession, get baptized I'm getting ready for the wedding feast, right and then you can go receive the Eucharist, and that's what we experience. It's really something to see. So thank you, man, for sharing that right.
Speaker 2:So it sounds like you can't stop, bobby. You've got a lot of things going, man, so tell us a little bit about, really, this family mission. I want to talk about this because St Lucia of Fatima, the last visionary, really the main visionary of Fatima, meaning she's the one that lived to an older age. You know she only died in 2005, same year John Paul did, and she wrote a letter to Cardinal Kofar and John Paul and she said the last great battle that we're in right now, in essence, is going to be over marriage and the family, and we're seeing that. So let's talk about what you got going there, because it's so important for us to nurture these. We're leaving these kids, aren't we in a vacuum, bobby? In just so many ways right now, it really bothers my heart.
Speaker 1:Yeah, once I became a father, you know, it definitely changed everything. It's something within us I think once you lock eyes with your child it's like this sense of responsibility, protection, fighting, it just kind of comes natural. It's those other things that have to be nurtured like you know how to be compassionate, how to listen. You know those other things, the fighting and those kinds of things. Protector, you know, providing those kinds of come natural. I've been working a lot at that, trying to, you know. You know, do with Jesus, the model of being a lion and a lamb like the lion can cut for us men, comes a little bit easier. The lamb is the hard part and how to, how to surrender our, our own, our own wills, and how to sacrifice well and to put ourselves last. So I've been working on those things.
Speaker 1:But for having a partner like my wife who's taking her faith very serious. So when I converted she really started taking her faith more serious. And now she went and got two masters. She's got one, well, almost two masters. She's got a couple classes and she's going to finish her catechesis and evangelization masters, but she's also went and got a master's in administration. She's now Catholic school principal, so she's the principal at our kids school. So it's like bringing you know we're like we didn't want to leave it to chance of that. Our kids are going to get not only a great education but, which the most important thing, was getting our kids to heaven and having that, you know, that that core of having Jesus at the center of school. So my wife, she takes our kids to school every day and she's leading them that way.
Speaker 1:So I'm looking to what, what can I do? You know I work, I'm a truck driver, I work for the city. So, other than, you know, going to work, providing doing those things, I try to offer up my day, pray for them. I start my day with Mass, then go there and do my prayers, do the rosary, do the Divine Mercy, every day. But I'm still thinking that there's some more things that I need to do. So our parish is on fire. It's like—.
Speaker 2:I know that parish, it is on fire. Yeah, st John the Evangelist.
Speaker 1:It's wall to wall. It's people who are serious, young families too. Bobby right, young families. Yeah, my wife's school is at capacity. There's a waiting list. There's over 500 kids in her school when she started it was about 350.
Speaker 2:Wow, what a blessing.
Speaker 1:You know. But what I always tell everybody, the secret behind that whole place is that there's a perpetual adoration chapel that's been there for 25 years.
Speaker 1:Amen In the parking lot of the school in between the day chapel, so it's there every time I get to go pick up my kids. Hey, let's go say hi to Jesus, you got 10 minutes, let's go. So, leading by example in our lives, not being too busy to be able to do those things, to be able to do those things. But what really started to change our marriage and the ministry that I was doing was starting to share the faith with other people, trying to explain why I and for myself to understand why do I believe what I believe. Like a lot of Catholics haven't taken the time to say, well, I believe this and this is what I believe, and being able to talk it out.
Speaker 1:So my wife and I started running Alpha at our old parish. We did that for six years, where you know it's the evangelization program. We're trying to get people to get closer to Jesus, and then there's an awesome retreat and a Holy Spirit retreat. So we were leading those. So then we came to St John the Evangelist during COVID and then we just jumped in. They already had Alpha going there. So we just came in as participants just to meet people at the new parish and then from there we started what the parish calls connect groups.
Speaker 1:So for the last two years we've been meeting with 25, 30 people twice a month where, for our group, it's all parents and people who have kids. So our kids come, so we get together for fellowship and a meal, then somebody gives a talk, then we have small groups, then we do praise and worship and then we pray with each other. It's like an hour and a half to two hours, but our kids get to come there. They get to see what you know, how important Jesus is to come together with us. So leading by example has been very important to our kids to see that, hey, jesus isn't just something we do an hour on Sundays. This is, our life is built around this, and so we've been enjoying that. We got one this Friday. It's like we've become really close.
Speaker 2:Are you doing this in the church, Bobby, or at home? We do it in each other's homes.
Speaker 1:So we started Alpha it started, you know, in the church, and then after that, alpha is just the first letter. It it's the beginning. So, like people always want more, like how do we get to continue to grow in our faith?
Speaker 2:yeah, so are you. Are you running this connect program right on the back of alpha is, is it?
Speaker 1:yeah, that's how purposely like that yeah, that's how we do it.
Speaker 1:First, because alpha, you know it's, it's an easy program, it's it's basically non-denominational, but it's got a lot of catholicism in it. But it's basic, like I always say, evangelization for dummies, basically it's just going through the basics of our faith. Is there more to life than this? Who's Jesus? Why did he die? How can I have faith? And helping to create space where people can openly have questions, and then eventually we get into, like the catechism. Then we get. The first step is hey, have this encounter with Jesus, have this, you know, through the retreat of the Holy Spirit weekend, where people are, they feel comfortable with the people that you're around, that they open themselves up. Then God does all the work. It's not the program, it's not me, it's not the other people, but getting to a place where people feel safe, heard and where they can trust, to where they let down their guard so the Holy Spirit can come in and do that work. And I've seen lives changed. And after people's lives are changed they want to know what's next.
Speaker 2:Connect groups.
Speaker 1:Now we have, I think, 11 connect groups going on throughout the parish and we meet twice a month, from young adults to older people and we're kind of in between. We got the you know, the 40 year olds 30 to like 50 in that range and most of us have kids and, like I said, we get to get together.
Speaker 2:You need that when you get together at specific times. You need those common bonds. You know, that's that common bond of okay, we have these kids now. Now we see what the culture. You wake up, don't you? You say, ooh, I got to do better, man, I got to do better.
Speaker 2:Because the culture is just ripping these poor kids, their hearts and their heads. They're stealing their innocence is what they're. You know, the culture stealing their innocence, it obliterates their moral imaginations, right and, and it's reduced this beauty of love, right, this, this Eros, this love that you had when you, when you saw your wife, right, and your wife saw you, kind of in that first time, and you feel that spark, you know, and uh, that spark, you know, and it wants to steal our innocence, it wants to take that beauty of that away and reduce love down to feeling and then down to sex, you know, and we sabotage this. This is why what you're doing and what you're talking about is so important. Now, when you're working, you know, and you're doing these podcasts and stuff, how does this all fit in together with those things, with all the other things that you're doing? I'm trying to get a big picture, man, because you're doing a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1:We've been doing the catholic couple for four years. It started during covid, so we had a bunch of time then to do it.
Speaker 2:So this is your podcast, right, yeah?
Speaker 1:this is catholic couple.
Speaker 2:The catholic couple, my wife and I, so we can look up the catholic couple and find it right. Yeah, yeah, we're on YouTube, we're on Spotify. Apple.
Speaker 1:We've done over, I don't know like 120 episodes, 125 episodes. But we started during COVID because we didn't have a whole lot of stuff to do. But my wife was going through this master's program, I was reading all these Catholic books and there wasn't a whole lot of people that we can talk to about things that are a little bit deeper than sports, the weather, those kinds of things. So we were having those conversations with each other. So we said, hey, why don't we invite other people into this conversation? It's kind of more conversational. And then we, you know it started to, you know, evolve. Then it's like, okay, we're going to focus on some marriage things, focus on some family things. We do liturgical things, whatever's going on, like this last one we did about Martha and Mary, because we were thinking about it, because of the gospel. So a lot of it is led by the Holy spirit. So we do that once a week. It's very tough sometimes and, I won't lie, the devil does try to get between. Anytime my wife and I are doing anything productive for the Lord, the devil wants to come in and try to create division and we are very busy. My wife's a principal. Her job she's working. Right now she's at school doing stuff. It's like it never ends. So for her to add more things onto her plate makes it hard, so it is a sacrifice. But once we sit down and turn on the camera and do it like afterwards like like it was great. But it's that fact of getting there which is hard, but we see the fruit from it.
Speaker 1:We're very active on social media and Instagram and TikTok, so we do a lot of our apostolate there. So we do that once a week. But then I also do Purposely Catholic, which is with Khalil. He's our pastoral associate of administration, so he's basically runs the parish, all the things that father you know. So father can do the sacraments and do those kinds of things. So he's leading the leadership team. He sets all the things for the whole parish and, like I said, our parish has so many things going on from you know a school, you know the chapel, the big church, and we're attached to the Shrine of Christ Passion, which is beautiful, so there's always something going on. So we do a weekly podcast and our parish has a studio. That's an old garage house that the parish owns. We turn it into a studio. So we do a weekly podcast there Beautiful yeah.
Speaker 1:And more of that is more geared towards men's stuff. You know like things are going on. You know we'll we do talk about some current event type stuff, what's going on in the news, to try to look at it through our lens of our Catholic faith. But we also do a lot of stuff of hey, what's it like to be a father, discipleship and Khalil. He did six years in a seminary, studied in Rome at the NAC, and he discerned out right at the very end. So he's very knowledgeable and we have great conversations. We get along great. So trying to fit all this in it's a lot.
Speaker 1:And then I also run a men's group that we meet twice a month at 7 am in the morning, which is like my favorite thing to do.
Speaker 1:I love to work out and like coming out of COVID I'm like people just wanted to get outside.
Speaker 1:So I'm like, well, you know, there's only so much small groups and talking about our feelings and our faith and stuff, which is great. But sometimes men just want to get outside. So we get out 7 am, we meet at the park, we have some fellowship, we do some prayer. Then you know, we have our intentions, we offer those up and then somebody runs a workout usually me or one of the other co-leaders and then we have a good workout for a half hour 40 minutes and then, like I said, we had that perpetual adoration chapel, no-transcript or, you know, 9 o'clock at night when everyone's going to bed. So we're doing that twice a month and you know we've been doing that for a few years and the fruit that's coming from that is, you know, iron, sharpens iron. The guys are leaning on each other when you know, hey, you know a guy in our group was adopting a son and trying to help that out, and you know another one's, you know, struggling with with, you know a breakup, and one's struggling with these kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:Does it yeah when you're there to to help lean on each other and help that out. It's busy. But you know, like mar, like Martha and Mary, when Mary sits at the feet of Jesus she's able to see what's important and how to do that. So when you're busy and you have all these things going on, that's when you need prayer more, because God will help give you that lens of well this thing needs to go away, this thing's very important and give you that grace to help to try to get it all done, but do it well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, see, this is what I, when we have these young guys and and and look at, it's not only young guys we, we we speak to to engage couples, married retreats. I do parish missions, bobby, all the way from Anchorage, alaska, down to South Carolina, three-day parish missions and stuff. So we're talking to all kinds of people. But it really inspires me when these young guys that don't really know what they're looking for, but they're looking for something more. Here's someone, someone witness, like you're doing right now, because it's real. It's real. You know, when I'm looking for direction, when I start to open up my heart, when I start to pray and get some direction, it's really real. But of course, that's when the temptations come, don't they, brother? And I think that's not only where the sacraments and prayer come in, but that's where this community that you're talking about come in, because I know Bobby's going to be watching me, man, and if I fall, it's not just me falling right, it's all my buddies, all my friends that are counting on me and vice versa, you know so.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was tough for me as a convert and you know I'm reminded of the story of the Israelites when they get out of slavery. We're reading that today at mass about Exodus and what happens. You know, god frees the Israelites and they go into the desert and right away, what do they want? They want to go back to slavery because that's what they're used to. And as a convert, I left the slavery of sin and all these bad habits, but I hadn't yet cultivated the promised land, the friends, the people to help guide me, mentor me to help me to get there.
Speaker 1:And so what happens is that when you're in this desert, it's pretty lonely, it's tough, and that's what I felt in my spiritual life, especially at our old parish. It was mostly elderly people. There wasn't really a whole lot of people to have groups with, which we did make some groups of people, but it's different when there's people you know closer to my age, who are active and want to do things like that. Being at our new parish, it was just like, you know, making these connections with other people that are taking their faith very serious. And you know, I had to create a group of people that I wanted to help cultivate. You know this men's workout group. We call it Ascent because we're on this journey to, you know, to, to, to climb, but it's very hard. So if you're listening and watching right now and you feel like, hey, I want a group of those people, it's like, well, sometimes, number one, you got to pray for it. Say God, I want a group of friends who are going to, you know, strengthen me, to help me. You know, in this tough times in the desert, because it takes sophistication to kind of get to the promised land, it's hard because we want to go back to what's easy, what we know.
Speaker 1:And when you have that conversion, when you've been won over and had that encounter with Christ, you have to be built up. You know, I like the focus. Uh, their, their motto is win, build, send. So you got it. You got won over by Christ, you had this encounter, but it's easy to fall back down to what it was like before. You were one. So you have to be built up. You can't do it on your own. It's like we you're a, you know you heard the saying that you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So you still hanging around with your knucklehead friends who are doing knucklehead things. You're going to do those kinds of things. But if you find some godly people who are, you know, true friends, who are chasing after the Lord, that philia, that brotherly love that you're both chasing, you know, virtue, or lucky enough to have a group of people that that's going to help you persevere in those desert times, so that you can, you know, run together, you know, towards Christ.
Speaker 1:And it's tough. I mean, it was just me and my wife. Basically that's how we had the podcast, and it took a while, but I was praying for it every day. Lord, bring me some men who are chasing after your own heart, Like, bring me some men who are like me, who, you know, want to normalize Catholicism. We don't have to be in the church every day, but like, hey, they're there, they like to go hiking, they like to work out, they like to, you know, have fun and still have a beer with your friends. But the difference of going home early and not getting blackout drunk or going to, you know, see movies that are inappropriate, things like that, where we have some common things but but we don't have to be weird. You know, that was my whole thing. It's like I didn't want to lose who I am. I don't want to be weird. Now, all of a sudden, you know I wanted to be myself, but be authentically the best version I could be, that whose God was calling me to be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know so many young people. When we're talking to them they get this idea this is a Puritan ethic. You know, catholicism is not Puritan brother. You know what, when you free yourself all of a sudden, you walk into the awe and wonder not only the awe and wonder of being outside and really seeing the stars, and really seeing the stars and start to reflect on, ooh, you know, I didn't create this universe, man. You know I didn't write this larger story. You know amazing amount of pride, right, that guys will come into the story and, you know, fall for this moral relativism, right, there is no truth, only my truth and your truth, et cetera, et cetera, and have so much pride that they don't just sit back and go. Man, there's a lot going on here. I don't understand it all, but I want to walk into the story. That's what you're describing, to walk into the story and then you start to see, say, for men, you start to see women differently, you really start to see. It's very important Now.
Speaker 2:You know I do a lot of podcasts and a lot of talks on eros. You know this great erotic desire, but Plato would call it. It's not just sensual, it's a desire for all that's true, good and beautiful. And here's the point he knew the ancient Greeks, 400 years before Jesus, knew that there was that spark, was a divine spark. So when I see the woman right, I was just describing to some guys I was in Costco and coming down the aisle and I'm no spring chicken anymore, right, and I look up and and and oh man, this girl was just so beautiful coming at me, right. But now I know better. I say thank you, jesus, for the beauty of that woman, thank you for letting me feel that divine spark within me again. I pray with her and for her at the same time, and so it lifts me up. When I lift her up and man, things open up, man, I get goosebumps just thinking about it, bobby Well that's beautiful.
Speaker 1:That's not going to go away. Those things aren't going to go away. But how we think about those, I don't want it to go away.
Speaker 2:See if you know, if you know that God's calling you into that divine story through the beauty, awe and beauty of nature, through women, through our sexuality, you know, through everything that you experience great books, great people, great friends then you don't want it to go away. I just want to make sure that, like you said you know I'm shooting at the stars, I don't. You know, it's like a rocket. You know, if you get that rocket going the wrong way, you implode, but if it's starting to go the right way, man, it'll take you all kinds of places. This is the adventure that we're talking about here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love the St Irenaeus line that the glory of God is man fully alive. And he wants us to be full of life. He gave us those desires, but they need to be ordered well, thank you.
Speaker 1:Towards our wives, towards God, towards the true beauty, but not to be used, but to sacrifice for it. That's what love in our faith means is to sacrifice for it, not to use it or abuse it or to lust after it, but to hold it up. You know, the level of our society is going to be based on how we hold up women and having a daughter. Now it just totally changed everything.
Speaker 2:So tell me about the kids. So you have a boy and a girl.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a 12-year-old girl going into seventh grade and my son who's going to be in fourth grade, and they're so different. You know, and as a dad, I'm one of four boys. I grew up with two brothers that are cops and you know my brother that that that was in and out of jail and then you had me in the middle. But you know, mma fighters like we're, we're, we're a crazy bunch of dudes, you know. So having a girl like my mom's tough as nails she's four 11, but she's like she's tough. So having a girl is like a whole new world for me.
Speaker 1:So I'm learning on how it's so different and for me, having that has changed my perspective on women in general, the way not just I look at her but my wife and all women in general, knowing that everybody is someone's daughter and made in God's image, that we're there to hold up that virtue. But I think a lot of it what you're hitting on, that it's important to step outside sometimes and especially getting out into the stars or going to adoration and being disconnected from God's plan of Sundays, having that Sabbath day, that rest where that's meant for us, to take a step back from the busyness of our lives so that we can put those things in perspective. Like, yeah, mass is important, but after that, like consecrating that day to family or, you know, to doing these mini retreats or doing those things, or when you get, you know, the chance to actually get out. We just got back from South Dakota. We went to the Badlands and Mount Rushmore and it just really has changed my perspective. Coming back, we're already like planning our next trip with the kids.
Speaker 1:It was like no screens. We were just in God's beautiful country, like hiking with the kids and just seeing them come alive in nature, and you know, we climb some of these high, these high mountains. We get up to the top and just to see the pride and how hard they worked and how they got up there, and then just that grace that God gave me to look down at them like man. This is what it's all about, like seeing all this immense beauty that he created. But what it's all for, it's like we're we're built to know him and he's trying to show me this is me, and then we're called to love him and then love my kids well and give them these experiences. But it takes intentionality to step out of our busyness of that day-to-day stuff and then we can help get that perspective and that gratitude of those things that we're trying to do. It's just so easy to get caught up in get up, go to work, pay the bills, come home, pick up the kids.
Speaker 2:Oh man, and look at Bobby. I think that's what most people are doing. You know you integrate and try to integrate the faith into a mission statement that guides daily life, and so we're talking about building up the domestic church here and building up a mission statement. Like you said, it has to be intentional, because fly by the seat of your pants, raising kids does not. If it ever worked, it certainly doesn't work today with the phones and the social media, the culture, the problems that we see in the public school systems, bringing these national sex ed standards and stuff right into our schools, right? So we have to be intentional. So talk about that a little bit. We're going to ask you to join us by helping us get the word out. So, if you can make sure you subscribe and then hit like, no matter which platform you're on, remember that the Become who you Are podcast is on audio on any music or podcast app. We're up on Rumble YouTube. You can find us on X. When you do subscribe, hit the like button.
Speaker 2:A couple things to share with people Love Ed, love Ed is just such an important apostolate. So it's within our apostolate the John Paul II Renewal Center. This helps parents give the talk to their children. We're trying to push back on all these gender ideologies and the porn culture and give the children the truth and do it through their parents, and we help them do that. The other one is is is really taken off to. It's claymore militants, christy soldiers for christ. That's where you see the sword behind me, that's the big sword. That's our logo for claymore, that's a claymore sword.
Speaker 2:And this is for young people, especially young men. Gen z high school all the way through, let's call it till they're 30 years old or so. They're starting to really understand that something nefarious, very toxic, is going on in the culture, and so they're stepping into the church and we're discipling them. So we want to help get the word out about those things and, lastly, consider financially supporting us. Everything's in the show notes hey, god bless you. Thanks again. We'll be right back to today's show. You know I was poking around a little bit and you're talking about your faith into a mission statement, some of the key steps to crafting a meaningful memorial family mission statement. So we're talking about those things already, but you're even being more intentional.
Speaker 1:More intentional. Yeah Well, like I said, our other podcast is purposely Catholic, like we have to be living a life on purpose and if we don't, then we just get whatever comes our way. It's like we didn't help. You know, God says ask, you receive, knock, the door's going to be open. So if you don't ask, if you don't set it up, it'll never happen. Then you're just going to get whatever the culture is going to throw to your your way. So my wife had this idea of hey, let's film a podcast about creating a mission statement, but let's record it live on the fly, involve our kids and obviously the Holy spirit. We used a truthfully kids huh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we did a whole episode with the kids and it turned out better than I thought because we were doing. We had like a battle cry, like a family motto that we had for a long time, which was hard work, pays off. So anytime things were going hard, whatever, I'd just go hey, hard work, and the kids would be like pays off.
Speaker 1:It was kind of like one of those things but it's a very important thing in our family is this growth mindset. We shouldn't be praising like hey, you're so beautiful, you're so smart. When you do that with the kids, when things do get hard, they'll shut down. So when we praise their hard work, then when things fail, like okay, this is another opportunity to learn, or things like that. So that was our, our motto. But I'm like, okay, well, something's missing. Jesus is missing out of this equation. So my wife and I we had the idea like we need to make a mission statement, like our parish has one, her school has one, all the businesses have one, anyone who, who is, you know, they have a vision and then they have a mission statement. So we did a podcast. We sat down as a family, we didn't have a script and and both of the kids, it's pretty gutsy actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I guess you could always get rid of it if it didn't work out, but it's still pretty gutsy right.
Speaker 1:Let's just do this thing, and I've done a podcast with each one of them individually on different topics, and they did pretty well. So I'm like okay, so we did one, my daughter did one on angels, and I forgot what my son did. But they're comfortable, they're not shy, so it worked out. So. So the first step for us was what are? So we had our motto hard work pays off. I'm like, okay, so what are some of our values that we, as Catholics, you know, hold, hold in high esteem?
Speaker 1:So we had started having this conversation. Like you know, obviously, we pray every day together as a family. We go to mass every Sunday, you know. We, we try to help people, we work hard, we do these kinds of things. So we had a list of all these values of you know, but the trick was is to involve the kids. You don't have to record it and put it on YouTube, but when you incorporate them into the process, then it makes more buy-in. That isn't like, hey, well, dad made this thing. Therefore, we're going to do it. But yeah, but you know, when you have that connection with them and have some input into it, then they feel ownership in it. So it was.
Speaker 1:It was also a, you know a family building, you know conversation of connection and you know trying to unify the family. So so we did that. So you want to have some values, you know make a list of different things, see what's important to you as a family, and we have. You know, the catechism tells us the purpose of life is to know love, serve God and to serve others. So we know that there should be something close to that. You know, to know God and to love, love him, serve the poor, all those kinds of things and then create some actions to go with it. Because if we just have a statement and don't have any actions to make it work, then you know it's just going to be a bumper sticker or something that just flies away Without action, bobby.
Speaker 2:Without action it doesn't work. You know, I think about that. This is John Paul's teaching right, just exactly what you said, though. A body and a soul right. Without this grace and without action, the default position is just sin and death. I mean, that's just the reality. If I just live on the surface of this life, get blown away, let the spirit of the age take me, this is what you fall into sin, but certainly you're going to die, and you better start to think about that right Now. A body and a soul open, like you're talking about, to grace, right to receive the Holy Spirit, to receive grace, to receive the Eucharist, etc. Now I have the potential for human flourishing, I have the potential for human freedom, but now I have to act.
Speaker 2:John Paul would say you have to act, and he would say this to young people Say, young people, you know that your life has meaning to the extent that it's given away to others, to your point. And when you walk in, you know this is what we're supposed to do. This is from Genesis 1, right, go forward, multiply, form families, right, and then go out until the garden. You know, go out, go out, go out, go out. You know we people will ask me sometime, bobby, like where is God? You know I don't see him, bobby. I said, dude, you're supposed to be the visible reality of love in the world. You are supposed to bring it into the world. This is why we're created, you know. God says, hey, I'm creating you to bring my divine love into the world. So you do it, and so we see it in each other.
Speaker 2:Right, mother Teresa talked about this all the time. She saw Christ in others. So I'm just reiterating the point that you're making and action and that's for anybody listening. Right, I have to act, whatever that is. That could be just getting on my knees and praying. Today they could be visiting the poor down the street. Whatever, I got to do something, man, I got to start to step in. And then you start to see it. You become part of this process, right?
Speaker 1:And the mission statement, we get the word missio. Mass is means we're sent.
Speaker 2:So this is our being sent.
Speaker 1:The focus model is win, build, send. So you got to have that encounter. Then you got to be have some formation. You got to know what to do once you get out, so you're writing down.
Speaker 2:Let's just say people are listening to this, so you got to. You know, if I, if I'm going to take out a piece of paper at home, do I invite the kids then around the table and I say, hey guys, just thinking about you, know some things. You hold important some values some, some things that what's important to us as a family, what are?
Speaker 1:the things to do, you know, and you may have sports, you may have school, you may have study, reading, whatever the. What are the things we hold up? You know, taking care of the poor. We like to serve, we like to to. You know to pray the rosary, whatever the things are. Everyone's going to be individual, have their own unique thing. So brainstorming about it, okay. Then the second step is okay. So then how are we going to put that into action? And then you got to bring it all together. So for us, as a family we came up with as a Catholic family, we love God by praying daily, working hard and loving others. And I, my wife and I I really liked loving others harder, but we ended up going with just loving others. You know, like work hard but love others harder.
Speaker 2:But we, so actually yeah, so then we, so then I love it.
Speaker 1:We put it up on a a banner that my wife made on her cricket.
Speaker 2:So keep that there for a second. So our family mission state we love God by praying daily, working hard and loving others and and hold it up just a little bit more. So there you go. So you got three hearts on it. It looks like you got the sacred heart of Jesus. You got the sword. We got the sword here in the back.
Speaker 1:The mother and the St Joseph's heart. So you got the three hearts and, as a reminder, the Holy Family gives us that mission. What does it look like? So, first and foremost, we pray daily, not just individually. We come together every night to pray together as a family, and that's a non-negotiable Even if it's hey, we're just going to say to our father, you know, we're on the road or we don't have time to sit there and pray a rosary together. That we are coming together, that we have intentions, we lift each other up, we pray over each other, we pray with each other, which, as Catholics, we do a bad job of. Not just praying prayers, but praying Like that's important, to say our rosaries and divine mercy, I say them every day. Those are important. But having that ongoing conversation and relationship with God as it's going, that, practicing the presence of God, inviting him into everything that we do, that's not just something on Sundays, but especially like, hey, you know God, what do you want me to do? Lord, guide me, whatever that may be. So praying daily as a family important, working hard is very important. You know, we want to be the best version of ourselves.
Speaker 1:I really like St Francis de Sales. He tells us. You know, everything can be turned into a prayer. We just got to ask God to be with us. Then we offer it up. Then we have to accept whatever comes. But when we ask God into whatever that is, we offer it up. We can't do it half. You know, halfway we do. We offer things to God. We got to give him our best, we got to give him our first fruit. So if I, you know, I like to work out, so before I work out I'll say God, be with me in this workout, keep me safe. I want to offer this workout for my wife, for the Pope or whatever it may be, so then I can't do half reps and like be just. You know, I got to be focused, I got to give them my best and that's then I accept.
Speaker 1:Hey, however, it went after that and, yeah, sometimes you know we're not going to get the results we want all the time, but at least knowing that I worked hard, I put that effort in there, and that we are called to love others, which you know is Catholics, that isn't a feeling. We know that love is associated with sacrifice. So how are we going to sacrifice for others, the poor, each other, for God you know, for our workplaces or whatever it is that we need to do. So, trying to incorporate that in what, like I said, my wife put that on a cricket and that's on our door as we're coming in and out of the house, so we're reminded of it every single day when we make decisions as a family. Does that go to our mission statement? Are we thinking about those things? Are we putting that in the forefront? Because it's really easy, once you do make a family mission statement, to let it go by the wayside, like so many companies and places have them. They're just slogans, nobody knows anymore.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no one knows it, because they're not living them out. You're describing living them out, though, yes and you have to continually remind them because they'll forget.
Speaker 1:they're kids, you know, and I got to remind myself, just like anything it's like, so don't make it too long and make it something where it's going to be memorable. You can't have a whole paragraph and do this and blah blah blah. You want to make it kind of short. If you go to the article we did on CatholicExchangecom, I'm sure you can share the link and has a laid out of the details on how to do it. We use Truthly AI it's a Catholic AI to help them like hey, give us like some framework.
Speaker 2:I didn't know there was a Catholic AI. Yeah, actually.
Speaker 1:I got to know the founder.
Speaker 2:What's it called? It's called Truthly.
Speaker 1:T-R-U-T-L-Y. We actually are the CEO and the founder of the company who's actually coming on our podcast tomorrow. I met him at SEEK in Utah, but they started this AI.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 1:But it runs it through the lens of our Catholic faith and helps teach you the faith, how to pray, but it's giving you. You know, it's approved by the church and I know Matt Frads he's co-founder of it and Paul Kim, yeah. Yeah, you know AI is not going away. So how do we use it in the lens, just like Google and YouTube? It's like now we use these technologies for the good and we want something that's going to take it not through the secular culture, but it's going to run whatever we're trying to do through the lens of our Catholic faith. So I found it to be helpful, especially when it comes to podcasting or YouTube or things about the faith. So we've been using that highly recommended.
Speaker 1:So you said like hey, help us come up with some ideas on some values. We like to do this and do this and it can really help you in the process. But mostly it's just having that conversation and getting it out there to see like, hey, what do we hold highest in our family, what is most important? And if it's not God first, then we need to do some re-event, you know, some re-configurations, you know, but then trying to see okay, we don't have to lie Like we, we should make it what's you know, closest to what our values are and what we hold. You know, and it's going to be different, like there's people who are more focused on serving the poor.
Speaker 1:Some people are more focused on the rosary or whatever that may be, craft it to where it's something that's going to be something to suit you and your family, and you know, then you can also like distill it down into like a battle cry, Like you know we did. The hard work pays off. Our parish uses one that's like everybody knows. In the parish it's be disciples who make disciples, and then everybody knows it. So you can also then distill it down into just a couple words, just as like a battle cry.
Speaker 2:I love it, brother. So if we start to wind down here, don't leave until we make sure that you got my info so you can send me your links. Right, Because we want to get the links in the show notes. So what's the rest of the day look like for you and can you unwind? You got that A personality going. Can you unwind enough just to relax a little bit today?
Speaker 1:Absolutely not. No, my day's been. I go to 4.30 every morning I go to daily. I start my day with prayer in Lectio Divina, in scripture, go to 6 am mass. So we went to mass this morning, prayed the rosary. I did two other shows this morning. I went live on the Iowa Catholic Radio and then Catholic Faith Network and I did that and then after this I'm going to the gym, I'm going to yeah, beautiful.
Speaker 2:So what does a workout look like? The workout Cardio and weights, or what are you doing?
Speaker 1:Cardio. I do the cardio and weights, or what are you? What are you doing? Cardio, I do like, well, I'll do some walking, probably, since I'm off today, it'll be like a, a vacation kind of workout. I'll hit, uh today's, uh, some shoulders and traps and the weights and then I'll do some incline walking and then 20 minutes in the sauna, which I don't get to do much when I'm off. I got extra time which is like it's like a prayer place.
Speaker 2:I love, love it. When we're talking to young guys. You know there's so many of them are struggling with porn and all this kind of stuff. Right, and what we're describing when you do the physical too, and especially if you go in there prayerfully you know it's amazing how you can relax.
Speaker 2:You know, look as goofy as this sounds and don't tell my neighbors about this, but I got a gym set up downstairs. I love to ride a bicycle. Right, I'm a martial artist, love to ride a bicycle. But I go downstairs sometimes I just put on some good music and I got the weights in my hand and I'm just warming up and I start dancing down there. I just feel a joy. I almost like, just like ooh. It's almost like a spiritual like ooh, just loosen up and move, and there's something powerful about that movement. Anyways, my point is you got to keep your body in shape too, man. If you let your body go, then you let your mind go and you get into porn, you get into all this stuff. Of course, you know you can be in great shape and still let your spiritual side go too. But my point is you got to be balanced, man. You got to be doing all of this stuff as men. I think you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's. I think when we train our bodies, we also are learning how to train our souls. It's like our spiritual muscles and our physical muscles are very similar. It's like, well, if you don't, you know, do the things that help build those up you, if you don't use it, you lose it. You know, I love the St Augustine who says you know, treat your body like you're going to live forever and treat your soul like you're going to die tomorrow.
Speaker 1:It's like, you know, as we get older, it gets harder and you know, I've had back surgery, I have all these things. So I I have to work out and for me, you know, you know I've been in over 50 fistfights in my life, like that was my life before I became Catholic. So I still have this aggressive nature and for me, when I hit the weights, it's a way for me to decompress, to get that aggression out, to challenge myself, you know, to set those goals. Like, hey, I want to bench press this and I want to try to do that. But I built a gym at my work. So usually I work out at work and I got, you know, like five or six guys I helped train there and then we work out together.
Speaker 1:But before I start, I got a board and on it it says I got the whole thing filled. None of them are Catholic, but I have a huge school school size board. I got a huge gym at work that I built over the years over 10 years and the whole board is filled with quotes. I got the our father in Latin. I got Matthew seven, which you were quoting. I got that up there. I got Psalm 51. I got a space that says this workout is offered for and it's underlined every day I write a different name there, so like I'm able to to turn that in. And then, uh, I made this shirt, if you can see it.
Speaker 1:It says it says five, that's ten go ahead five sets, ten reps, which is the rosary doing five sets of ten, hail mary's, so it's like isn't that beautiful so talking to men in the ways that they know is. You know that's what we do. Where can I get a shirt like that? We actually are. They're not up. I got a box here. We're just getting them up on our website, purposelycatholiccom. They should be up there. Hopefully in the next week or so. We're going to have them up there.
Speaker 2:Okay, when that's ready, I'm getting one of those or a couple of those I'm gonna pass. I like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we brought them to the the c conference and they sold out like in, like one day, because the men who see that like once they feel like whoa, five sets of ten, like that's how we talk in the gym, like what kind of work love that what better than five sets of ten?
Speaker 1:you know, hail mary's, that's how we we talk about the rosary and you know, for me, the workout is a prayer. You, like I said, when you ask God to be with you and you offer it up. Anything we do, like St Benedict teaches us ora et labora prayer and work, folding laundry or walking the dog, working out, whatever we're doing can be turned into a prayer. It doesn't have to be in a church, but it's that intentionality, that being purposely to be able to offer that up and to invite God into anything we're doing it and then do it well, and then that itself can be a prayer, especially when we're busy, especially when you got jobs that are.
Speaker 1:You know that you may not be like my job is not something I chose to want to do, but it helps provide for my family. I got great benefits and insurance and it is a sacrifice. But what changed for me in that is that I learned how to turn it into a prayer and be grateful for the job that I have, those things, instead of looking at all the things that I don't have or what I want to do and turning that into, you know, a prayer and trying to find a way throughout the day to do one good deed for somebody out of the ordinary and try to transform the mundane into something sacred. And it doesn't have to be in a church. That could be through our lives, it could be working out, that could be, you know, walking. It could be anything if we're doing it for the right reasons and asking God, inviting Him into it, just like St Benedict taught us.
Speaker 2:Bobby, you're an inspiring guy, man, I'm glad I met you. But here's what's inspiring you can take right your everyday, what people are doing, what any man listening to this, any woman listening to this, can start to fold some of those things into their daily life and make a difference, not only in their own life. When you go out and you're doing those things, sharing those things with the guys at work on the board, you become a better person. John Paul would say when you start to do those small good things, you become good, I am good. Or or I start to do these little evil things, you know, and over time I become evil, I am evil. You know.
Speaker 2:You wonder how these crazy politicians got to the point where they're so twisted and distorted. Well, slowly, you know, and then all of a sudden, boom, you're there and what you're doing is you're unwinding that man. You're unwinding the evil in the world, you're bringing good in the world and this is very inspiring. So good stuff, man. Hey, thank you for the work you're doing. God bless you, bobby. Thank you so much for your time, man. Hey, thank you everyone. Thanks for joining us today. Talk to you again soon. Bye-bye, thank you so much.